Additional Charges

I've recently noticed some internal feuds in our Welsh Sector. I would like to point out to those involved rule 5. i) from the official PIGS rules.

5) i) Rule 1 (The Primary Rule) exists above all other rules.

With this in mind, I've decided to charge stace with the following crimes, in addition to those brought by my fellow founder, dart.

7. Not using the PIGS website for official correspondance, and instead illigally using the PIGS mailing list

8. Refusing to accept that you are AWOL.

9. Bringing up the alledged failure of a founder to book a bus in telford with Mr Telford of Glasgow, and therefore making him look stupid, when clearly the founder could not have been involved, as founders are all powerful beings incapable of such stupidity.. so it must have been someone else.

10. Trying to book a bus in Telford with Mr Telford of Glasgow

11. Trying to get into the Premier of Revenge of the Sith with Attack of the Clones tickets.

12. Being proud of your name.

Below is the reply from stace to the previous post for those that didnt recieve the email..

"Ho ho bastard ho.

1. The deal was clearly 20 bottles. The word 'crate' never entered into it. At least, not until you decided 20 wasn't sufficient. Cunt.

2. Fair point, well made.

3. AWOL? I've been here all the bastard time. Twat.

4. Yeah, whatever. I'm sure you said you didn't actually want me there or something.

5. Two words. Mister. Telford.

6. And proud of it.

Let me know when you're coming to Swansea. I'll make sure I'm out.

Regional Co-ordinator? Regional cunt more like.

MFI Dave (lack of intelligence specialist)

ps If I hand myself in, do I get cake???"

Rewriting history

Let it be known that Founders cannot make mistakes.

For those of you who thought you read the title 'Intelligence Officer' in relation to the criminal charges as put forward in the last e-mail, you did not.

In fact it read 'Minister for Information'.

Good, I'm glad that is all cleared up.

Proceed.

Infernal Memo

To All PIGS,

Festive greetings from your Founders.

Stace you are a cunt, where the fuck are you? Make contact with your regional co-ordinator. Now. One of the Founders will be in swansea over the festive period, you will meet with them or face the consequences.

All other PIGS: keep searching for Stace, he is a renegade and must be intercepted. News of his whereabouts is much sought after. There may well be a reward for information leading to his capture, it will probably be cake.

Criminal Proceedings will be started against the Intelligence Officer in the New Year, with or without his capture. His crimes are listed below:

1. Believing that 20 bottles make a crate of beer, when everyone knows its actually 24.
2. Only paying off 8 bottles of his beer debt to date.
3. Going AWOL for months on end.
4. Not keeping a scheduled meeting with a Founder.
5. Contributing to a totally piss poor stag do organisational effort for which a Founder can take no blame whatsoever.
6. Being Stace.

I see there being no defence possible to the charges, i imagine that the punishment will be severe.

As it should be.