Jan. started the new year semi naked with lots of people. fun times! much of the early morning was spent listening to chad throwing up.
Moved to pigs towers 2 after being thrown out of the old gaff a month early. new gaff wicked cos we bought leather sofas and a 32" lcd tele.
Used 32" tv to watch all of 24 up to series 5 with dave, cos he likes it now. TONY!
Feb. Amandas business peak began, thats not fun. I'm so glad she's got another job now.
March. had my toe off. took lots of photos of dave, martin, my toe and the crack fox enjoying PIGS towers. Went Aldeburgh with Amanda, had nicer weather than when we went later in the year.
April. Went to Canada to see grant and co. missed my awesome girlfriend loads and was really gay about it.
May. i became 28, and the Godfather, my lady took me out for dinner, it was nice, though hers was not so nice. Stace and Rhys came to stay, what larks we had. and vegetarian sausages. Also went to aldeburgh with Amanda.
June. Went on hols to Cuba with Amanda, i managed to get a really good tan, I went for the 2 tone red and white look.
July. moved in with Amanda, didn't have the best start due to me being a knob. oops. I was replaced by newcomer Ross Michael Brown
August. went to Spain for Amandas birthday, ate lots of nice food, topped up my tan. bought a handbag. Had a reunion with karate folk in aber.
September. lasted a year with Amanda and I'm still alive. saw the police in concert. took some photos of rhys sisters wedding. I'm awesome at it.
October. Went Blackpool, pepsi max is pretty good. Played poker, beat everyone.
November. Stealth is the best ride in the world
December. i need a job because I'm running out of money fast. well, i ran out years ago but you know what I mean.
ended the year with a party at PIGS Towers
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The official report of the Ministry for Information, 2007
2007 has been, at best, a blur. A combination of reasons that will be outlined below, and my choice to stop 'secretly' blogging and start 'unsecretly' blogging, which led to an instant and almost total reduction in the number of posts made means a thorough, month-by-month report is virtually impossible. A witty, sports score style one even more so. I will endeavor to do better this year. My choice of recording method, the digital photograph currently stands at around 1000 images for the year so far, so next years should be full of images, if not so much of words.
Now, where was I?
Oh right. 2007 was welcomed in with board games and Chinese with Founder Rhys, and Laura, who I can now safely call nuts without risking offending a Founder. We played telly addicts and sing star. I suspect that I won neither.
January saw myself and my good lady wife decide that what we really needed to go with the glass-bowl kettle and the matching crockery was a baby, and so much of the start of the year was spent in pursuit of that aim. As is so often the case with my endeavors, success came quickly (you may, if you choose, insert your own jokes at this point). Much of the next 9 months was spent dealing with a pregnant wife, and all that that entails, and so exact details are scarce. There is evidence that I did some gardening, and I managed to repaint half a fence. I did some DIY, including laying a laminate floor, with hilarious consequences, although I didn't think so at the time. Given my DIY skills, we employed a professional to do the toilet and bathroom and almost two years after moving in, the bulk of the major work on the house was finished (hurrah!)
2007 also saw some birthdays, some weddings and various other social events. I'm sure they were all brilliant. I went to Essex for the first time and had a great time. Founder Dart continued to be a source of much entertainment, highlights including the hilarious petrol / diesel incident, and the thoroughly entertaining mobile phone on the tube debacle. I have high hopes for 2008 being an even better year for Rhys-based entertainment.
2007 also saw the purchase of a new macbook and digital SLR camera, a new car to replace the Corsa which finally went to the car park in the sky, and the year ended with me finally leaving my overdraft for the first time in five years. Just let's not talk about loans or mortgages, ok?
Of course the highlight of the year was the arrival of Mr Curig Gomer Stacey, who was taking after his father even before he arrived, by putting his Mother through several days of hell. He was introduced to the PIGCS way of life early on by attending an evening of Family Guy at PIGS mansions and got the measure of Founder Dart early on, buy using him as some kind of elaborate pillow.
2007 has no doubt been a top year. While this report may not contain as much information as one might expect from the Ministry for Information, I would like to close by confirming to readers that I do still have a book, it is in my house, that the heathens are not at the airport and victory will be ours any day. That is all.
Now, where was I?
Oh right. 2007 was welcomed in with board games and Chinese with Founder Rhys, and Laura, who I can now safely call nuts without risking offending a Founder. We played telly addicts and sing star. I suspect that I won neither.
January saw myself and my good lady wife decide that what we really needed to go with the glass-bowl kettle and the matching crockery was a baby, and so much of the start of the year was spent in pursuit of that aim. As is so often the case with my endeavors, success came quickly (you may, if you choose, insert your own jokes at this point). Much of the next 9 months was spent dealing with a pregnant wife, and all that that entails, and so exact details are scarce. There is evidence that I did some gardening, and I managed to repaint half a fence. I did some DIY, including laying a laminate floor, with hilarious consequences, although I didn't think so at the time. Given my DIY skills, we employed a professional to do the toilet and bathroom and almost two years after moving in, the bulk of the major work on the house was finished (hurrah!)
2007 also saw some birthdays, some weddings and various other social events. I'm sure they were all brilliant. I went to Essex for the first time and had a great time. Founder Dart continued to be a source of much entertainment, highlights including the hilarious petrol / diesel incident, and the thoroughly entertaining mobile phone on the tube debacle. I have high hopes for 2008 being an even better year for Rhys-based entertainment.
2007 also saw the purchase of a new macbook and digital SLR camera, a new car to replace the Corsa which finally went to the car park in the sky, and the year ended with me finally leaving my overdraft for the first time in five years. Just let's not talk about loans or mortgages, ok?
Of course the highlight of the year was the arrival of Mr Curig Gomer Stacey, who was taking after his father even before he arrived, by putting his Mother through several days of hell. He was introduced to the PIGCS way of life early on by attending an evening of Family Guy at PIGS mansions and got the measure of Founder Dart early on, buy using him as some kind of elaborate pillow.
2007 has no doubt been a top year. While this report may not contain as much information as one might expect from the Ministry for Information, I would like to close by confirming to readers that I do still have a book, it is in my house, that the heathens are not at the airport and victory will be ours any day. That is all.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Review 2007 with Founder Dart
2007 began in the Stace household with Chinese and boardgames. I think I probably won the games but that might be totally incorrect. January continued with the ceiling in my office falling down to expose the asbestos undercoat; a new obsession was born- namely beginning to watch all the West Wing episodes; and a trip to Brentwood to help Mat, Dave and Mart move to PIGS towers. Well I say help Mat, Dave and Mart: in truth 'Commander Dave' played Elite 2 on the computer and Mart went to watch a panto. Mat, Phil and I did all the manly lugging whilst Chad did the grim cleaning. Kudos to Chad. Oh it was at this time that Phil invented a new sport, 'whitevanrollerman' - which was fab. During this period Lau was mostly stressed out about her dissertation and had started to hate her flatmate.
Moving into February. This was quite a busy month all in all. I passed my professional training course that provided me with a professional training qualification. Marvellous. My work had paid for the year long course, so I thanked them by handing in my notice and getting a job elsewhere. Not unsuprisingly my boss at the time responded by being a total knobber and writing a bitchy letter, which pissed me off for a bit until I remembered that I was leaving, so up yours son. To celebrate the qualification all of the people on the course, and their partners, went to the dogs for a night out. I came second out of everyone on the betting front but I actually lost money so that really shows how good we were. I announced my retirement from rugby, which went largely unheralded. Laura was still stressed out about her dissertation at this point and relations had started to break down with her flatmate
March came along and with it was an early chance to sample what my new working life would be, with a couple of trips to my new job. I left scared, what had I done? Dave Stacey spent much of this time laughing at me. I captained a team at the all-night soccerthon and managed to be the teams leading goalscorer, quite a feat as I actually played in goal. We didn't win. At all. The Stace took a trip to cardiff to settle the X3 debate and decide once and for all whether dave Lev had taken more pictures of birds or flowers during his trip to NZ. These questions were answered once and for all and the world was greatful. March was an odd month as for no reason I went on a 17 miles cross country cycle. this wasn't repeated throughout the rest of the year. Laura finished her dissertation (Hoorah!) and was mainly stressed out by me turning around en route on a trip with her to swansea when a friend phoned to offer me a ticket for england v wales on the morning of the game. Priorities people, priorities. Wales won and I was happy. Laura was not.
Teamspeak was installed as a regular occurance in PIGS towers in April and Martin spent many a happy hour talking to me via the laptop in the kitchen, my "disembodied voice" (ref: moments only) haunting his every move around his own house. Lau's flatmate went to Turkey for 2 weeks, so I moved in to trial living together. It went well, although there were a great deal of new rules to learn. Girls are very complicated. Did I mean complicated? No, I think I meant bossy.
May - the birthdays of messers mat and Dave necessitated a trip to Essex. I wanted to go early so set off without Dave and with a plan to pub crawl to shenfield with Mat to meet Dave off the later train. I actually ended up on the later train as my car broke down in Swindon, leaving me 40 miles behind where I started about 4 hours after I had set out. Just to top things off I lost my phone on the underground whilst speaking welsh to stace, though this was later returned by the only nice Londoner in existance. Essex trip was fab and we went to some pub with loads of the cru and got very drunk. Happy Days. A bit later on in May I started my new job and collected my Vomit green coloured company car. After a few weeks of "wtf am i doing?", I got over it and started to enjoy the new environment. I was now living back in Cardiff full time, and finally Laura and I were in the same city. Laura and her flatmate were now at war.
At the beginning of June I managed to flog my car to an elderly gentleman for a ridiculously inflated price, though the world got me back for that by filling my diesel engine with unleaded petrol. I spent the car profit on hoping that I hadn't wrecked my new company car. Fortunately I hadn't and Mr Stace turned up to give me a hand and take the piss a bit. many thanks to him for his kind efforts. Laura and I planned her escape route from WW3 and found a house to move into, with the move itself coming next month. During June I met up with the essex cru in London and we went for a Japanese, I also flew to Bangor using the smallest most rickety plane ever and I started playing cricket to satisfy my competive streak that had been urging me to do something since retiring from rugby.
July saw me move in with Laura, and all was good, well apart from the fact that I managed to slam my finger in the door of the transit van and had to go to A&E halfway through moving in day (symbolic anyone?). My birthday was super and I tried to drink my way around the world in a world beer bottle bar. I failed but I did get drunk enough to tell laura that I was planning to propose and had bought her a ring. This was all true but probably not the way she'd have wanted to hear it. As it turned out, maybe this was a smart move.
My first ever visit to Twickers was just in time to see Wales get battered by 60 points in August. Joy of joys. I responded by going home and buying a psp. Retail therapy at its best.
My second visit to twickers happened in September when i went to see the Police with Mat, Amanda and Nix. Awesome gig, really enjoyed it and was all chilled out - I think its good when you only know like three songs cos you can just relax with a beer rather than having to dance or sing or whatever. Later on in September Mat came to cardiff for a beer or two in the world beer bar and then acted as the photographer in my sisters wedding. He was great and I thoroughly enjoyed the day despite being sober for all of it. Laura was a little put out when some (drunk) friends of my sister declared that they fancied me in school. During this time Lau started disliking her flatmate again. Oh shit, that was now me.
October was a bastard. Lau declared that she wasn't into the relationship anymore and called it off. GAY. October really was lame. Lame, lame, lame.
I went to 'the wood' in November to join the cru for Fireworks night and a trip to Jimmy's farm. I also walked through essex at night with martin and saw a fight, spoke to some chavs and critiqued some films and bands. Good times. During this time I also started internet dating and went on a date with a nice girl who turned out to be crazy pyscho nuts. Some people might suggest that all girls are crazy psycho nuts after they've been on a date with me but I ignore those people. November saw the birth of the first stacey child and what an awesome character he is.
With December came the decision to book a trip to New York for January. Office christmas parties (I managed to pull at one, wahoo!) and of course, Christmas itself. Christmas was odd cos my sister wasn't at home until Boxing day but that did mean more Turkey for me. At least it would have done had I not been feeling ill. Helen and Simon helped me move out of the house and back into the parental home and then, once all my stuff was safely back in the attic I headed off to Brentwood for New Year. Over new year I caught the sickness and diahorrea bug and spent a few days being a wreck and talking to way too many people about my bowel movements. New Years eve was nicely ushered in by the receipt of a parking ticket and most of the time leading up to new year was spent on the toilet, which did provide some hilarity but wasn't how I had imagined seeing in the new year.
Fuck you 2007, you fucking cunt.
Long live 2008.
Until next year,
Founder Dart out.
Moving into February. This was quite a busy month all in all. I passed my professional training course that provided me with a professional training qualification. Marvellous. My work had paid for the year long course, so I thanked them by handing in my notice and getting a job elsewhere. Not unsuprisingly my boss at the time responded by being a total knobber and writing a bitchy letter, which pissed me off for a bit until I remembered that I was leaving, so up yours son. To celebrate the qualification all of the people on the course, and their partners, went to the dogs for a night out. I came second out of everyone on the betting front but I actually lost money so that really shows how good we were. I announced my retirement from rugby, which went largely unheralded. Laura was still stressed out about her dissertation at this point and relations had started to break down with her flatmate
March came along and with it was an early chance to sample what my new working life would be, with a couple of trips to my new job. I left scared, what had I done? Dave Stacey spent much of this time laughing at me. I captained a team at the all-night soccerthon and managed to be the teams leading goalscorer, quite a feat as I actually played in goal. We didn't win. At all. The Stace took a trip to cardiff to settle the X3 debate and decide once and for all whether dave Lev had taken more pictures of birds or flowers during his trip to NZ. These questions were answered once and for all and the world was greatful. March was an odd month as for no reason I went on a 17 miles cross country cycle. this wasn't repeated throughout the rest of the year. Laura finished her dissertation (Hoorah!) and was mainly stressed out by me turning around en route on a trip with her to swansea when a friend phoned to offer me a ticket for england v wales on the morning of the game. Priorities people, priorities. Wales won and I was happy. Laura was not.
Teamspeak was installed as a regular occurance in PIGS towers in April and Martin spent many a happy hour talking to me via the laptop in the kitchen, my "disembodied voice" (ref: moments only) haunting his every move around his own house. Lau's flatmate went to Turkey for 2 weeks, so I moved in to trial living together. It went well, although there were a great deal of new rules to learn. Girls are very complicated. Did I mean complicated? No, I think I meant bossy.
May - the birthdays of messers mat and Dave necessitated a trip to Essex. I wanted to go early so set off without Dave and with a plan to pub crawl to shenfield with Mat to meet Dave off the later train. I actually ended up on the later train as my car broke down in Swindon, leaving me 40 miles behind where I started about 4 hours after I had set out. Just to top things off I lost my phone on the underground whilst speaking welsh to stace, though this was later returned by the only nice Londoner in existance. Essex trip was fab and we went to some pub with loads of the cru and got very drunk. Happy Days. A bit later on in May I started my new job and collected my Vomit green coloured company car. After a few weeks of "wtf am i doing?", I got over it and started to enjoy the new environment. I was now living back in Cardiff full time, and finally Laura and I were in the same city. Laura and her flatmate were now at war.
At the beginning of June I managed to flog my car to an elderly gentleman for a ridiculously inflated price, though the world got me back for that by filling my diesel engine with unleaded petrol. I spent the car profit on hoping that I hadn't wrecked my new company car. Fortunately I hadn't and Mr Stace turned up to give me a hand and take the piss a bit. many thanks to him for his kind efforts. Laura and I planned her escape route from WW3 and found a house to move into, with the move itself coming next month. During June I met up with the essex cru in London and we went for a Japanese, I also flew to Bangor using the smallest most rickety plane ever and I started playing cricket to satisfy my competive streak that had been urging me to do something since retiring from rugby.
July saw me move in with Laura, and all was good, well apart from the fact that I managed to slam my finger in the door of the transit van and had to go to A&E halfway through moving in day (symbolic anyone?). My birthday was super and I tried to drink my way around the world in a world beer bottle bar. I failed but I did get drunk enough to tell laura that I was planning to propose and had bought her a ring. This was all true but probably not the way she'd have wanted to hear it. As it turned out, maybe this was a smart move.
My first ever visit to Twickers was just in time to see Wales get battered by 60 points in August. Joy of joys. I responded by going home and buying a psp. Retail therapy at its best.
My second visit to twickers happened in September when i went to see the Police with Mat, Amanda and Nix. Awesome gig, really enjoyed it and was all chilled out - I think its good when you only know like three songs cos you can just relax with a beer rather than having to dance or sing or whatever. Later on in September Mat came to cardiff for a beer or two in the world beer bar and then acted as the photographer in my sisters wedding. He was great and I thoroughly enjoyed the day despite being sober for all of it. Laura was a little put out when some (drunk) friends of my sister declared that they fancied me in school. During this time Lau started disliking her flatmate again. Oh shit, that was now me.
October was a bastard. Lau declared that she wasn't into the relationship anymore and called it off. GAY. October really was lame. Lame, lame, lame.
I went to 'the wood' in November to join the cru for Fireworks night and a trip to Jimmy's farm. I also walked through essex at night with martin and saw a fight, spoke to some chavs and critiqued some films and bands. Good times. During this time I also started internet dating and went on a date with a nice girl who turned out to be crazy pyscho nuts. Some people might suggest that all girls are crazy psycho nuts after they've been on a date with me but I ignore those people. November saw the birth of the first stacey child and what an awesome character he is.
With December came the decision to book a trip to New York for January. Office christmas parties (I managed to pull at one, wahoo!) and of course, Christmas itself. Christmas was odd cos my sister wasn't at home until Boxing day but that did mean more Turkey for me. At least it would have done had I not been feeling ill. Helen and Simon helped me move out of the house and back into the parental home and then, once all my stuff was safely back in the attic I headed off to Brentwood for New Year. Over new year I caught the sickness and diahorrea bug and spent a few days being a wreck and talking to way too many people about my bowel movements. New Years eve was nicely ushered in by the receipt of a parking ticket and most of the time leading up to new year was spent on the toilet, which did provide some hilarity but wasn't how I had imagined seeing in the new year.
Fuck you 2007, you fucking cunt.
Long live 2008.
Until next year,
Founder Dart out.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Counting plants and ducks with Rhys
A joint blog post from me and Rhys. (Because he doesn't have a blog)
We are pleased to announce that there is one more picture containing birds than there are pictures containing plants in Dave Lev's flikcr photostream.
Despite me leading with plants for more of the contest, the Birds made a last minute comeback with some ducks aroun dpage 81. Despite a couple of lapses in the mid 60's, pagfe 72/3 was particularly tense.
We are sorry to announce that we lost count of the number of silver balls. We are also not currently in a postition to reveal exactly how many birds or plants, or indeed photos of plants or birds are actually there. Simply that there is one more of birds.
That is all.
We are pleased to announce that there is one more picture containing birds than there are pictures containing plants in Dave Lev's flikcr photostream.
Despite me leading with plants for more of the contest, the Birds made a last minute comeback with some ducks aroun dpage 81. Despite a couple of lapses in the mid 60's, pagfe 72/3 was particularly tense.
We are sorry to announce that we lost count of the number of silver balls. We are also not currently in a postition to reveal exactly how many birds or plants, or indeed photos of plants or birds are actually there. Simply that there is one more of birds.
That is all.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Antipodean Correspondant's 2006 Year Review
Okay, I'm extrememly apologetic for the delay in posting this; my only explanation is that I've been working very busily seven days a week all year so far and the computer I have in work is trying to run 2007 websites on a 1998 operating system at apeeds that would've been laughed at in 1989, so every click of the mouse is like pulling teeth. Still, here I am at last and here we go...
JANUARY
Return to Aberystwyth one last time to pack up possessions and clear out of New Street adter 3 1/2 years, throwing out so many sacks of accumulated junk the back yard looks like something stuntmen crash into. Buy first-ever digital camera. Say goodbye to work colleagues and various friends, my housemates Rich after over eight years of being around each other, before finding myself driving out of the town in a state of baffled confusion that I'm actually passing back outside the event horizon. Drop possessions at parents' home... erm, well, fill most available space in house and garage with mountains of clutter, pack backpack for New Zealand, then immediately up sticks again and go on whistlestop tour of country to catch up with several old friends I haven't seen in ages in London, Essex, Norwich (where I get on a horse for the second time in my life - first was in 1990 - and off again rather speedily), plus now-ex-Aber-housemate Jo in Tamworth, where we scout her wedding location for 20 months hence at the Castle. Return to Dinas Powys, say hello to parents, entertain Founder Dart for a farewell evening of Pro Evo that I finish with a fluke victory, make still more of a mess of the place, grab backpack and skedaddle for Heathrow. Meet 21 fellow BUNACers and after endless familial farewells lift off from Britain for only my second venture outside Europe, fly 12 hours to Hong Kong and live in each others' pockets for next two days and nights. Only get lost on my own for 2 1/2 hours, and have T-shirt to record the achievement. One of fifteen people singing atrocious karaoke into three mics in a basement bar, which surprises the Chinese who take it deadly seriously. My neighbour gets hammered, stands up, hits her head, staggers and opens up my cheek with a flailing thumbnail. Nice. Somehow all make it onto plane to Auckland, and 11 hours later I arrive in New Zealand for a 19 or 20-month sojourn on the far side of the planet. Bungy (as they spell it here) jump off the harbour bridge two days later to get it over with and shake my nerves off. Succeed in getting a "swinging face-scraper" as I plough rather than dipped into the harbour, which adds two black eyes to scar already on face, but don't realise until after so go again. Backwards. Cleaner dive though scary shuffling backwards towards 140ft ledge with your ankles tied together. Mooch and sightsee around Auckland for three weeks through first half of:
FEBRUARY
then go on bus tour of the North Island mostly with two fellow BUNACers. Meet Pacific Ocean for first time and dig own hot pool on a thermally-heated beach. See geysers and mudpools at sulphurous Rotorua, where six-week-old camera stops working, then go 'black-water rafting' in glowworm caves at Waitomo and skydive at 12,000ft above Lake Taupo on the same day. Awesome, would do it again like a shot. (Said with feet firmly on terra firma.) Head to unspoiled backwater and Maori heartland the East Cape to chill out for a few days by a great surf beach mercifully devoid of surfers.
MARCH
Leave East Cape via farmstay where I get on a horse for the third time in my life and stay on for 2 hours of trekking up and down hills and through surf on wild beaches. Cool but scarier than jumping out of a plane had been. Stay at one more homestead with its own Pacific beach at the end of the garden, then make way south to Wellington. Celebrate return to city life by staying out til 5am then eating breakfast in middle of main shopping street with someone I'd just met, before getting to bed at 9am. Classy. Roll out of bed at 5:30pm and into Paramount Theatre in time to join Film Society for first showing of the year. Move to YHA hostel, the best place I''ve stayed in yet.
Get job as sales rep hawking cheap novelty giftware around out-of-town shops, factories, warehouses and (on one memorable occasion) whorehouses. Do surprisingly well to start with, then rather less well , get food poisoning, overwhelmed by feeling nervous over lack of basic salary, and quit. Spend time not job/flat-hunting wandering Wellington, taking photos and getting to know the place. Make temporary friends who inevitably move on elsewhere before long. Go to Film Society and blockbuster movies to keep me sane. Rediscover reading for the first time in a decade and start going through books at a rate of knots. Keep looking for a flat and another job, with no success.
APRIL
As March, but without having the job. Acquire circle of friends of fellow semi-permanent immigrants and hang out a fair bit.
MAY
As April, but to great surprise visit flat whose occupants decid they want me to move in, which I do on my 27th on the 27th. Get ID'd for the first time in my life that night, which I feel has a certain je ne sais pas.
JUNE
As April, sinking slowly into worst fug of depression in six years via endless feedback loop of job application/wait/rejection. Take to seeking refuge at YHA/in library/cinema/secondhand bookshops/Internet cafes to escape trappedness at home, and devouring books to retain grip on sanity by avoiding reality. House wooden single-glazed bungalow, therefore freezing in NZ winter. World Cup comes and goes, with standard disappointing England exit. Have several great nights in sports bar until all hours, where the city's foreign communities of residents/backpackers congregate one after the other to cheer on their respective teams - highlights are being a neutral amidst wildly enthusiastic Japanese and raucous Aussies for their clash (I say"neutral", but really I will Australia on all the way after playing as them for years on FIFA PC games - my boys come good in the last eight minutes to win 3-1 from behind), and experiencing the deafening Argentinian support as their team net 6 goals in a game. Meet a Frenck girl while watching South Korea v Togo, then a few days later pull her while Holland v someone else is on, upstairs in an irish bar. This cosmopolitan romance hits the rocks moments later when it emerges she thinks I'm gay. Takes rest of the night to convince her otherwise.
JULY
As June, except less World Cup action (although Zidane's last reaction will take some beating), which ends with me pleased two of my favoured sides made the Final. Start the month with group of friends at Pirates of the Caribbean premiere and finish it playing a pirate in a film myself - admittedly as a fancy-dress party scene extra in a student short, but in full costume anf makeup. Worryingly great fun.
AUGUST
As July, but without any piratical activity. Last man out on last day of Lord of the Rings film exhibition at Te Papa national museum, geeky to the end.
SEPTEMBER
Finally in right place at right time, and get job as receptionist at backpacker hostel six evenings a week. They want me to move in too. Needed a change of scene so didn't complain. Feels good to be useful again. Job seems OK.
OCTOBER
Farewell lovely flatmates when they finally find a replacement for me, glad to not have been a total loser in the end. Job goes OK. Write article on the LOTR phenomenon in Wellington for friend/small-press publisher DJ Tyrer back home. Wrong place at wrong time plus case of mistaken identity conspire to get me arrested for the first time of my life, at Te Papa, for some alleged petty vandalism - despite being a law-abiding person, in a place I loved and had visited scores of times and eulogised to backpackers daily, which was that day swarming with police. Mmm, logical. Police eventually agree, after all questioning meets only frustrated determination, that I didn't do it, but since video evidence proves nothing either way Te Papa decide guilty until proven innocent and issue a trespass notice/banning order offering em the quality choice of a $1000 fine or 3 months in jail should I set foot on the premises in the next two years. Too traumatised to complain (20% furious but 80% terrified by this point), but mightily ticked off later when I'd time to seethe properly. Have meeting with a JP and Parliamentary Advisor to the Foreign Minister, who also happens to be mates with the Director of Te Papa - he gets him on the phone and latter agrees situation is patently ludicrous, but to this day they still haven't done anything about it. Hmmmph.
Do get some extra casual work as a Mystery Shopper.
NOVEMBER
Tour Parliament on interesting Open Day and walk the floor of the chamber - doubly odd as it's modelled on Westminster. DJT points out that as an alleged anarchist mastermind it's remarkable I succeeded in avoiding blowing the place up or similar. Offer to do cleaning work in hostel as I need to supplement income badly and surely nothing could compare to Aberyswyth Students Union toilets at 7am on a Saturday morning... Incumbent secondary cleaner quits the next week and I take on two days' housekeeping a week, which I can fit in before reception at 4. Incumbent primary cleaner goes AWOL the next week and I a.) start to wonder about my powers and b.) take on five days' housekeeping a week. Meanwhile had decided two simultaneous jobs just isn't enough and started as kitchenhand in a Deep-South-style restaurant on my one day off from the hostel. Wished I'd gone for cobbling together part-time things before instead of searching for full-time so long and fruitlessly. Three at once now though - clearly jobs are like the proverbial buses.
DECEMBER
In an act of self-flagellation for my earlier inactivity/act of greed for as much money as I can make in a few months, work every single day. Feel awful come Christmas week, every muscle aching, after not a sniffle all year, and assume I'm overdoing things. Visit doctor after three days of this,show him new bites/spots on arms, and he immediately diagnoses chicken pox. Of all things. Never had it when young, blame now the cute kids I'd been 'babysitting' in reception at intervals over previous week. Spots break out everywhere. Work right through, figuring if I'm going to be an agonised pustulent wreck anyway I might as well be useful and keep earning money. Foolishly presume Christmas Day will be off as restaurant closed that Monday, but as a favour do some hours in morning/evening in hostel so it becomes 49th consecutive day of work. In between have big meal at manager's house and made to feel part of family, which is nice when so far away from my own. Last thing manage to speak to Rhys for the first time since I left, which is great. Start to come out of the worst of the pox over next four days, when my grandma dies. Have been lucky to reach 27 with all close family intact though, so small consolation. Bad end to the year all round, and end up working until 11:50pm on New Year's Eve knowing I'll be working again in the morning, so don't go anywhere or do anything. Still, here's to a better 2007...
A belated Happy New Year to anyone who's actualyl read this far - it ended up a bit longer than I anticipated. Sorry, thank-you and goodnight. Or good-lunchtime, where you are.
JANUARY
Return to Aberystwyth one last time to pack up possessions and clear out of New Street adter 3 1/2 years, throwing out so many sacks of accumulated junk the back yard looks like something stuntmen crash into. Buy first-ever digital camera. Say goodbye to work colleagues and various friends, my housemates Rich after over eight years of being around each other, before finding myself driving out of the town in a state of baffled confusion that I'm actually passing back outside the event horizon. Drop possessions at parents' home... erm, well, fill most available space in house and garage with mountains of clutter, pack backpack for New Zealand, then immediately up sticks again and go on whistlestop tour of country to catch up with several old friends I haven't seen in ages in London, Essex, Norwich (where I get on a horse for the second time in my life - first was in 1990 - and off again rather speedily), plus now-ex-Aber-housemate Jo in Tamworth, where we scout her wedding location for 20 months hence at the Castle. Return to Dinas Powys, say hello to parents, entertain Founder Dart for a farewell evening of Pro Evo that I finish with a fluke victory, make still more of a mess of the place, grab backpack and skedaddle for Heathrow. Meet 21 fellow BUNACers and after endless familial farewells lift off from Britain for only my second venture outside Europe, fly 12 hours to Hong Kong and live in each others' pockets for next two days and nights. Only get lost on my own for 2 1/2 hours, and have T-shirt to record the achievement. One of fifteen people singing atrocious karaoke into three mics in a basement bar, which surprises the Chinese who take it deadly seriously. My neighbour gets hammered, stands up, hits her head, staggers and opens up my cheek with a flailing thumbnail. Nice. Somehow all make it onto plane to Auckland, and 11 hours later I arrive in New Zealand for a 19 or 20-month sojourn on the far side of the planet. Bungy (as they spell it here) jump off the harbour bridge two days later to get it over with and shake my nerves off. Succeed in getting a "swinging face-scraper" as I plough rather than dipped into the harbour, which adds two black eyes to scar already on face, but don't realise until after so go again. Backwards. Cleaner dive though scary shuffling backwards towards 140ft ledge with your ankles tied together. Mooch and sightsee around Auckland for three weeks through first half of:
FEBRUARY
then go on bus tour of the North Island mostly with two fellow BUNACers. Meet Pacific Ocean for first time and dig own hot pool on a thermally-heated beach. See geysers and mudpools at sulphurous Rotorua, where six-week-old camera stops working, then go 'black-water rafting' in glowworm caves at Waitomo and skydive at 12,000ft above Lake Taupo on the same day. Awesome, would do it again like a shot. (Said with feet firmly on terra firma.) Head to unspoiled backwater and Maori heartland the East Cape to chill out for a few days by a great surf beach mercifully devoid of surfers.
MARCH
Leave East Cape via farmstay where I get on a horse for the third time in my life and stay on for 2 hours of trekking up and down hills and through surf on wild beaches. Cool but scarier than jumping out of a plane had been. Stay at one more homestead with its own Pacific beach at the end of the garden, then make way south to Wellington. Celebrate return to city life by staying out til 5am then eating breakfast in middle of main shopping street with someone I'd just met, before getting to bed at 9am. Classy. Roll out of bed at 5:30pm and into Paramount Theatre in time to join Film Society for first showing of the year. Move to YHA hostel, the best place I''ve stayed in yet.
Get job as sales rep hawking cheap novelty giftware around out-of-town shops, factories, warehouses and (on one memorable occasion) whorehouses. Do surprisingly well to start with, then rather less well , get food poisoning, overwhelmed by feeling nervous over lack of basic salary, and quit. Spend time not job/flat-hunting wandering Wellington, taking photos and getting to know the place. Make temporary friends who inevitably move on elsewhere before long. Go to Film Society and blockbuster movies to keep me sane. Rediscover reading for the first time in a decade and start going through books at a rate of knots. Keep looking for a flat and another job, with no success.
APRIL
As March, but without having the job. Acquire circle of friends of fellow semi-permanent immigrants and hang out a fair bit.
MAY
As April, but to great surprise visit flat whose occupants decid they want me to move in, which I do on my 27th on the 27th. Get ID'd for the first time in my life that night, which I feel has a certain je ne sais pas.
JUNE
As April, sinking slowly into worst fug of depression in six years via endless feedback loop of job application/wait/rejection. Take to seeking refuge at YHA/in library/cinema/secondhand bookshops/Internet cafes to escape trappedness at home, and devouring books to retain grip on sanity by avoiding reality. House wooden single-glazed bungalow, therefore freezing in NZ winter. World Cup comes and goes, with standard disappointing England exit. Have several great nights in sports bar until all hours, where the city's foreign communities of residents/backpackers congregate one after the other to cheer on their respective teams - highlights are being a neutral amidst wildly enthusiastic Japanese and raucous Aussies for their clash (I say"neutral", but really I will Australia on all the way after playing as them for years on FIFA PC games - my boys come good in the last eight minutes to win 3-1 from behind), and experiencing the deafening Argentinian support as their team net 6 goals in a game. Meet a Frenck girl while watching South Korea v Togo, then a few days later pull her while Holland v someone else is on, upstairs in an irish bar. This cosmopolitan romance hits the rocks moments later when it emerges she thinks I'm gay. Takes rest of the night to convince her otherwise.
JULY
As June, except less World Cup action (although Zidane's last reaction will take some beating), which ends with me pleased two of my favoured sides made the Final. Start the month with group of friends at Pirates of the Caribbean premiere and finish it playing a pirate in a film myself - admittedly as a fancy-dress party scene extra in a student short, but in full costume anf makeup. Worryingly great fun.
AUGUST
As July, but without any piratical activity. Last man out on last day of Lord of the Rings film exhibition at Te Papa national museum, geeky to the end.
SEPTEMBER
Finally in right place at right time, and get job as receptionist at backpacker hostel six evenings a week. They want me to move in too. Needed a change of scene so didn't complain. Feels good to be useful again. Job seems OK.
OCTOBER
Farewell lovely flatmates when they finally find a replacement for me, glad to not have been a total loser in the end. Job goes OK. Write article on the LOTR phenomenon in Wellington for friend/small-press publisher DJ Tyrer back home. Wrong place at wrong time plus case of mistaken identity conspire to get me arrested for the first time of my life, at Te Papa, for some alleged petty vandalism - despite being a law-abiding person, in a place I loved and had visited scores of times and eulogised to backpackers daily, which was that day swarming with police. Mmm, logical. Police eventually agree, after all questioning meets only frustrated determination, that I didn't do it, but since video evidence proves nothing either way Te Papa decide guilty until proven innocent and issue a trespass notice/banning order offering em the quality choice of a $1000 fine or 3 months in jail should I set foot on the premises in the next two years. Too traumatised to complain (20% furious but 80% terrified by this point), but mightily ticked off later when I'd time to seethe properly. Have meeting with a JP and Parliamentary Advisor to the Foreign Minister, who also happens to be mates with the Director of Te Papa - he gets him on the phone and latter agrees situation is patently ludicrous, but to this day they still haven't done anything about it. Hmmmph.
Do get some extra casual work as a Mystery Shopper.
NOVEMBER
Tour Parliament on interesting Open Day and walk the floor of the chamber - doubly odd as it's modelled on Westminster. DJT points out that as an alleged anarchist mastermind it's remarkable I succeeded in avoiding blowing the place up or similar. Offer to do cleaning work in hostel as I need to supplement income badly and surely nothing could compare to Aberyswyth Students Union toilets at 7am on a Saturday morning... Incumbent secondary cleaner quits the next week and I take on two days' housekeeping a week, which I can fit in before reception at 4. Incumbent primary cleaner goes AWOL the next week and I a.) start to wonder about my powers and b.) take on five days' housekeeping a week. Meanwhile had decided two simultaneous jobs just isn't enough and started as kitchenhand in a Deep-South-style restaurant on my one day off from the hostel. Wished I'd gone for cobbling together part-time things before instead of searching for full-time so long and fruitlessly. Three at once now though - clearly jobs are like the proverbial buses.
DECEMBER
In an act of self-flagellation for my earlier inactivity/act of greed for as much money as I can make in a few months, work every single day. Feel awful come Christmas week, every muscle aching, after not a sniffle all year, and assume I'm overdoing things. Visit doctor after three days of this,show him new bites/spots on arms, and he immediately diagnoses chicken pox. Of all things. Never had it when young, blame now the cute kids I'd been 'babysitting' in reception at intervals over previous week. Spots break out everywhere. Work right through, figuring if I'm going to be an agonised pustulent wreck anyway I might as well be useful and keep earning money. Foolishly presume Christmas Day will be off as restaurant closed that Monday, but as a favour do some hours in morning/evening in hostel so it becomes 49th consecutive day of work. In between have big meal at manager's house and made to feel part of family, which is nice when so far away from my own. Last thing manage to speak to Rhys for the first time since I left, which is great. Start to come out of the worst of the pox over next four days, when my grandma dies. Have been lucky to reach 27 with all close family intact though, so small consolation. Bad end to the year all round, and end up working until 11:50pm on New Year's Eve knowing I'll be working again in the morning, so don't go anywhere or do anything. Still, here's to a better 2007...
A belated Happy New Year to anyone who's actualyl read this far - it ended up a bit longer than I anticipated. Sorry, thank-you and goodnight. Or good-lunchtime, where you are.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Mats Year Review 2006
Another year over! this is how it went:
Started the year walking home at 7am after an awesome new years party at Hannahs, and passing out at Bobs.
Martin celebrated his 40th birthday, by holding a bad taste party at the tennis club. Dave and me went as chavs, we looked awesome, bunch of other folk also turned up as chavs, we all looked awesome. Went back to bobs to pass out, I broke my elvis glasses.
Went to Tower of london for the first time in my life for Nix Birthday.
Went to Club Bachuss in Kingston with dave, I pulled a total minger chav. it was amusing
Moved into PIGS Towers with Dave and Martin, just up the road from Amanda and JP, it was awesome.
Grant and Su threw a huge party at Sunshine House, before leaving for canada, we was caught on CCTV nicking enoumous plates of chicken.
I ran a half marathon with chad, despite being rubbish at long distance running, a clerical error put me in the top 30, out of thousands.
Dan and Hippy came to stay, we drank lots.
School Disco at sams, for once my scafolding looked in place. Awesome night of drawing on each other..
Rhys came, we took dave to airport after no sleep, then went to ASDA for breakie. I learnt having no sleep for 24 hours is not good when driving. We went to oneils and bought beer. We also went to sams in our Geroge shirts.
Saw mighty boosh live, sat right at front, DVD was being filmed. Chad got pulled up by the hitcher. He's now on the dvd.
Forced orthadontist to remove my scafolding 9 months early, since my teeth were actually straight. went on Stace stag, where we managed to avoid any contact with women, except lesbians.
went to aldeburgh music festival, saw Venetian Snares and Shitmat with Martin and Dave. Some old woman hoped it wouldn't be a rave as the bus pulled into the abanoned airbase. Bobs Justin and JP also came to aldeburgh. Unfortunatly Amanda couldn't make it.
The world cup came and went, dave and me became football ooligans, and bought england shirts, and stayed up all night drinking vodka in the garden, just before england got kicked out.
Went to Fabric for the first time ever, to see DJ Hype and Goldie, its the most awesome club ever. I mananged to pull, not a minging chav this time, and then managed to go on a date with her. She was very nice, but was a vegetarian technophobe. Not really going to work then.
I bought a new Digital SLR, flogged the old one to phil, I'd had it a whole year so it was a bit out of date
Went on holiday to spain with Hannah, Kirsten and The Chad, Bobs and Justin popped out for a few days. Got through a lot of absinthe. Raided abandoned hotels etc...
Nix parents threw massive bbq, with bouncy castle and everything, awesome
Rhys visited, we went straight to o'neils.
Went to aldeburgh again, this time with Justin, Bobs, Saskia, Nix and Amanda.. Turned out nice again. aiii
Went to the most horrible town in britain. took photos.
Dave and Amanda, my new hot chick, attempted to watch 24 for the first time, all in one go, while I made japanese food. They found it boring. They also failed to complete the marathon. They have since changed their minds.
Spent 3 weeks while my new girlfriend was on the other side of plane t
Went to see Little Britain Live with my new awesome girlfriend, it was very funny, until the drive home and every road we needed to go down was closed
I went to court, I won!
Saw jimmy carr live in saafend.
Rhys visited for christmas meal, first thing we did was go to o'neils.
Saw Tenacious D in the Hammersmith apollo.
Christmas was super, if a little quiet this year. i got knives and an awesome coffee grinder from my superb girlfriend.
Went to suffolk for new year with the cru. hired out some cottages. Went for lunch in the pub rhys had 2 years previous insulted the landlady.
We had 3 rounds of drinks and a 2 course meal each, it came to 11 pounds a head.
New years eve was a night to remember, although i can't write about what happened after midnight as thats 2007.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
MFI Dave's Review of 2006
January
Funerals 2 - 0 Stag Dos orgnaised
Jan in a nutshell - Lots of teaching, a bit of illness, date for ceiling, random parents evening, stagnating stag planning, new blog software trialed, nice meal, meeting with Karen from GGC, invites sort of designed, new bank account established.
February
Disclosure of Rhys's Blog 1 - 0 Stag Dos organised
New Speakers, Telephone service changed. Eventually. James had kid (will prove important come July). Put up some shelves. Moved parents to Mac after breaking their PC. Gilespi disbanded
March
Days school closed due to snow - 1 - 1/2 Stag dos organised*.
Started posting photos at Flickr
* Rhys sent an email. Only one person replied
April
Bollockings recieved for state of laptop 1 - 1 Bizzare village pub quizzes attended
Gay blog posts1 - 1PIGS Boycotts of this site
Also went to Alton Towers for the first time and painted the downstairs loo.
May
Stag Do's attended 2 - 1 Health Spas attended
Jobs applied for 1 - 0 Jobs shortlisted for
Top notch birthday trip, organised by lovely wife. Sent wedding invites. Jimmy Got Married. Hard Drive on Mac died. Then got mended by nice people at apple. Survived my stag do, despite being sick slightly more than 20 minutes after my arrival, due to drinking some fizzy milk bollocks that some cunt bought me.
June
Body parts failed 2 - 1 School Trips in which pupils feignted
Mostly tired this month. Hence my muddling up two pupils at parents evening. Also argued with Rhys about X3
July
Visits to random beaches for stones 2 - 7 Weather forecasters sworn at,
GOT MARRIED! Woo! Top Top day.
Match reports for wedding:
Vows practiced in Welsh performed 0 - 1 Whole new crazy welsh vows spoken
Lovely people at wedding 120 - 1 Evil people at wedding (see previous match)
People who failed to turn up 2 -1 People who only just beat Sionedwyn down the aisle
Very Drunk Relatives 2 - 23 Jokes about my brother and Cat Hel
August
Security breach as Sionedwyn's parents discovered Rhy's secret blog by putting his name into a search engine 1 - 1 Rows with Rhys about me posting about Sionedwyn's parents finding his blog.
Honeymoon! Woo!
Match reports from Honeymoon
Jet Skis ridden 1 - 1 Jet skis thrown from by new wife
Animals seen Loads - Loads Number of time nearly threw other people on safari to the animals
Duty free brought back 0 - 5,000,000 photos taken
September
Webhosts moved 1 - 2 Websites lost in site move
Hours of history teaching in my timetable 0 - 6 New subjects in my timetable
Music Festivals Attended 1 - 0 Music Festivals performed
October
Slight panic spread through the internet this month as it looked like I might have vanished. Turned out not to be true.
Cars broken 1 - 1 Showers Broken
To celebrate the above score, we then broke my mothers new put-up bed.
November
Blog posts 2 - 3 Bizarre cartoon versions of me created
December
Blog posts 1 - 1 Days late for work
Really good Christmas and a top new year, despite Sions getting two different bugs in the course of 10 days. Great trip to London, and I popped down to Devon for a day for the Old Man's birthday and to see Col before he goes off to India.
I finally feel recharged now, so tomorrow I head back to school to have that beaten out of me all over again. Happy New Year!
Funerals 2 - 0 Stag Dos orgnaised
Jan in a nutshell - Lots of teaching, a bit of illness, date for ceiling, random parents evening, stagnating stag planning, new blog software trialed, nice meal, meeting with Karen from GGC, invites sort of designed, new bank account established.
February
Disclosure of Rhys's Blog 1 - 0 Stag Dos organised
New Speakers, Telephone service changed. Eventually. James had kid (will prove important come July). Put up some shelves. Moved parents to Mac after breaking their PC. Gilespi disbanded
March
Days school closed due to snow - 1 - 1/2 Stag dos organised*.
Started posting photos at Flickr
* Rhys sent an email. Only one person replied
April
Bollockings recieved for state of laptop 1 - 1 Bizzare village pub quizzes attended
Gay blog posts1 - 1PIGS Boycotts of this site
Also went to Alton Towers for the first time and painted the downstairs loo.
May
Stag Do's attended 2 - 1 Health Spas attended
Jobs applied for 1 - 0 Jobs shortlisted for
Top notch birthday trip, organised by lovely wife. Sent wedding invites. Jimmy Got Married. Hard Drive on Mac died. Then got mended by nice people at apple. Survived my stag do, despite being sick slightly more than 20 minutes after my arrival, due to drinking some fizzy milk bollocks that some cunt bought me.
June
Body parts failed 2 - 1 School Trips in which pupils feignted
Mostly tired this month. Hence my muddling up two pupils at parents evening. Also argued with Rhys about X3
July
Visits to random beaches for stones 2 - 7 Weather forecasters sworn at,
GOT MARRIED! Woo! Top Top day.
Match reports for wedding:
Vows practiced in Welsh performed 0 - 1 Whole new crazy welsh vows spoken
Lovely people at wedding 120 - 1 Evil people at wedding (see previous match)
People who failed to turn up 2 -1 People who only just beat Sionedwyn down the aisle
Very Drunk Relatives 2 - 23 Jokes about my brother and Cat Hel
August
Security breach as Sionedwyn's parents discovered Rhy's secret blog by putting his name into a search engine 1 - 1 Rows with Rhys about me posting about Sionedwyn's parents finding his blog.
Honeymoon! Woo!
Match reports from Honeymoon
Jet Skis ridden 1 - 1 Jet skis thrown from by new wife
Animals seen Loads - Loads Number of time nearly threw other people on safari to the animals
Duty free brought back 0 - 5,000,000 photos taken
September
Webhosts moved 1 - 2 Websites lost in site move
Hours of history teaching in my timetable 0 - 6 New subjects in my timetable
Music Festivals Attended 1 - 0 Music Festivals performed
October
Slight panic spread through the internet this month as it looked like I might have vanished. Turned out not to be true.
Cars broken 1 - 1 Showers Broken
To celebrate the above score, we then broke my mothers new put-up bed.
November
Blog posts 2 - 3 Bizarre cartoon versions of me created
December
Blog posts 1 - 1 Days late for work
Really good Christmas and a top new year, despite Sions getting two different bugs in the course of 10 days. Great trip to London, and I popped down to Devon for a day for the Old Man's birthday and to see Col before he goes off to India.
I finally feel recharged now, so tomorrow I head back to school to have that beaten out of me all over again. Happy New Year!
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