To All PIGS,
Festive greetings from your Founders.
Stace you are a cunt, where the fuck are you? Make contact with your regional co-ordinator. Now. One of the Founders will be in swansea over the festive period, you will meet with them or face the consequences.
All other PIGS: keep searching for Stace, he is a renegade and must be intercepted. News of his whereabouts is much sought after. There may well be a reward for information leading to his capture, it will probably be cake.
Criminal Proceedings will be started against the Intelligence Officer in the New Year, with or without his capture. His crimes are listed below:
1. Believing that 20 bottles make a crate of beer, when everyone knows its actually 24.
2. Only paying off 8 bottles of his beer debt to date.
3. Going AWOL for months on end.
4. Not keeping a scheduled meeting with a Founder.
5. Contributing to a totally piss poor stag do organisational effort for which a Founder can take no blame whatsoever.
6. Being Stace.
I see there being no defence possible to the charges, i imagine that the punishment will be severe.
As it should be.
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